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Black_Mage
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Name: Rob
Gender: Male
Interests: Hobbies Include: Working.
Life Includes: Video Games, Roleplaying, Coding, hanging out with the crew.
Expertise: Hiking, Computers, Modern Piracy.. all the good stuff.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/13/2002
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| Don't know why I got this idea in my head again, but I figure it can't help to reflect upon one's self a bit. I've decided to pick up the old web journal thing again, if you hadn't guessed. I doubt anyone will read it much, but I'm oddly okay with that.
A lot has happened lately. I recently made a trip to San Diego to visit a friend. Unfortunately this person, who shall remain nameless, turned out to be damn near psychotic the minute I left to come back to New York. I don't want to sound insensitive, but more baggage hanging around my neck is the last thing I need.
Ever since I've left Texas I feel as if time has just whizzed by my head like an errant bullet. I consistently ask myself where the last three years have gone and what I have to show for it. Sadly, there is little to physically hold aloft, but I read old emails and look at old conversations and see the change in myself. See myself growing up, and see myself for what I was then (which is rather embarrasing, unfortunately). I'm moving forward though, which is more moving than I've done in a long time. I can be proud of myself again.
Dixie, my dog of nearly thirteen years, passed away the 18th of this last November. It's been tough dealing with things without that support. I know it sounds a bit strange, but she was the only constant in my life to last more than a few short years. It was painful to have lost that on many levels. Even worse, I was the one to sign the papers to have her put down - the guilt still persists concerning it, but I know it couldn't be helped in the end. I take solace in the fact that she had a good life, family, and friend throughout everything. It reminds me of a quote that says "Life is pleasant, death is peaceful. It's the transition that is the problem."
Anyways, I don't want to write too much. I'll recap more things tomorrow or the next day, if for nothing more than exploring my own thoughts in tangible sentences.
--R
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| R.I.P.
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| More than five years. Closer to six. That's how long I've been a member
here. When I was younger and in High School I always heard all the
adults pipe on about how your younger years just fly by and I never
really believed them until I turned twenty-two. This isn't in
complaint or anything, more to just reflect on how much a person's
perspective can change over such a short, short time. Five years ago,
five years would have seemed like an eternity of time; now it is
something I consider to be short. If nothing else, it seems I've become
a lot more philosophical during the period and less oriented towards a
sort of "reckless abandon" that seemed to follow me through to my
twentieth year. Don't misunderstand me, however, I still enjoy my
spontaneity despite the fact that some seem to view it as a bad quality.
Some like to have a rigid plan complete with schedules and a syllabus
which is perfectly alright. Personally, I like to have a plan
too, though nothing so rigid that my life, professional or
otherwise, hinges upon its completion; more like having
guidelines instead of a detailed outline. A few years ago I was
led to believe living this way was a bad thing, but recently I've
rediscovered the thrill of living at least partially by the seat of
your pants. I enjoy thinking on my feet, its where I feel as if
I'm in my own element. I never considered myself "booksmart"
really, although I am adequate in that area I'm nothing above average
in the end. Instead, I consider my wit and wisdom to be my
stronger side. I can't remember a time where I have not been able
to squeeze through or weasel out of some adverse situation without a
scratch and honestly, I pride myself in that ability.
In the end, I think the key to living is just to realize that some want
that structure, some crave it, but inversely there are those that don't
want or need it. My way is no better than yours - it may not be
the same and you may not agree with how I do things or vice versa, but
your life is yours and mine is my own. No one is truly qualified
to criticize another concerning such things. Live and let live.
-BM
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| Looks like it's that time of the quarter again for an update,
huzzah! Well, despite my high score of "extremely qualified" on
the ASVAB, I've managed to avoid the military by the skin of my teeth
once again. For those of you that know me, I've always viewed the
military as a last resort of sorts, something I really, really didn't
want to subject myself to if I didn't have to. Well, for now, I don't.
The morning I was going to go see my recruiter I saw a sign infront of
Best Buy. "Now Hiring"; I decided I'd take the chance. Long story
short, I am now a part of their VW Bug driving Geek Squad and am
massively overpayed - which is awesome. For knowledge I learned
from tinkering with computers everywhere I am now receiving a dollar
amount per hour that is more than double what I had received at SITEL
Corp. The company is very different from most retailers from what
I've seen, and maybe a long term relationship with them wouldn't be
such a bad thing considering this is the kind of work I wanted to do
since I finished High School anyways. Aside from that, the badges
they gave us are freakin' awesome.
--BM
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| Well, took the ASVAB today. I was pretty nervous about it having not
been in intense schooling for a year. As it turns out the worry was for
nothing. I scored in the top 7% of the test and all job choices in the
military have been opened for me. All of a sudden my recruiter is
showing a lot more interest. Now.. how to milk it.
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